Sunday, April 29, 2012

A Man After Your Heart


This post is long overdue, but I was inspired to write it after hearing this song:



I realize that this isn’t a revolutionary concept, but my friends also impact me for the Kingdom regularly.  One such instance occurred at Beach Reach two years ago (… which makes me feel old).  During the first night that our team was stationed in the Prayer Room, my Father spoke directly to my heart through several people.  Now, the “Prayer Room” may sound rather mundane and insignificant, but it was far from it.  It was the epicenter of what we were doing.  It was here that many warriors stood their ground and fought for their brothers and sisters on the spiritual battlefield.  It was here that many people visibly saw God moving in the lives of spring breakers.  It was here that I caught a glimpse of who God intended me to be. 

You see, I was minding my own business, praying away, and the leader of the Prayer Room approached me.  She proceeded to explain to me that a young lady had just ran out the back of the room, and that she was going to follow her to see what was up.  She then proceeded to tell me that she was placing me in charge of what was going on.  Immediately, fear and the “not-good-enoughs” engulfed me.  Why the heck would she pick me?  There were countless other leaders from other schools and churches there with years of experience, job titles, Bible degrees, the works.  They are significantly more qualified than me I thought.  But no, she picked the youngest, most inexperienced, mechanical engineering-studying senior in college to take over for her, the boldest prayer soldier I’d ever seen in action.  She wouldn’t let me decline.  In truth, God wanted to show me something.

So, I got up there and lead the thing.  I wasn’t perfect, wasn’t eloquent, wasn’t a lot of things, but I was used.  My Father wanted to show me what He could do with me.  And He did.

About twenty minutes later, she came back in, and I approached her.  She looked at me, and said the most piercing thing I’ve ever heard about me to me.  It’s like she could peer directly into my soul and see all of my doubts and fears.  She explained to me exactly who I was (without me ever telling her anything), and she prayed a prayer over me that shattered my reality (in the best of ways).  I believe God put me up there so that she could get a glimpse into my being for the purpose of expelling fear from me.

But that’s not where it ends, and that’s also not the main point of this entry.  Immediately after that, two young men from our group came up to me—Jacob Mackin and Tony Stennett.  They looked at me, and they called me David, their great leader whom they’d follow in any trial or storm.  They called me a man after God’s own heart (if you’re not familiar with David in the Bible, that was what he was called).  I don’t think they realized what that simple exhortation meant to me.  It has been a driving challenge and encouragement ever since.  One of my favorite songs in high school was “Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns.  The second verse goes like this:

Oh, what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again "boy, you'll never win!
"You'll never win"


Those words talking about David and Goliath have also been a driving force in my life—I want to be the man who will stand in the face of fear when no others have the courage, to be the soldier who will bravely take on any fight to the glory of God the Father.  When Tony and Jacob called me David, it was more than an unassuming name; no, it was a radiant beam of light revealing to me that I am and I can be the fearless man that God intends me to be. 

“I Want to Know You Like That” by Anthem Lights is a reminder to me of the man that I was born to be, the man that I was during that week at Beach Reach, the man who will effect change in this world because of the One Who is making me and using me and loving me.  I was born to be a man after God’s own heart. 



Father, You are the God Who uses His people to bring glory to Your Great Name.  We are privileged to be a part of Your story.  Lord, You regularly place people in my life who encourage and inspire me to break lose the chains and be more than myself—people like our Prayer Room leader, like Jacob, and like Tony.  Your word says that when You begin a new work, You carry it on to completion.  I want to be a man after Your heart in all things.  Lord, keep creating the man that You began.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Facepainting

I've found that kids have an innate way of revealing profound spiritual truths through their behavior.

This past Friday, my church had a festival of sorts for the kids in our JAM programs that we called the JAMboree.  There were games, food, races, crafts, prizes, and, of course, fun.  I was signed up to help with facepainting for the first shift.  Now, the last time I did anything remotely artsy was doodling in study hall my freshman year of high school.  Needless to say, I was a bit worried about my skill level.  And yes, I was painting the faces of 5 year olds who couldn't even see what I was composing on their face, but I couldn't help it.

Anywho, a little boy named Lucas hopped up on my chair and pointed directly at the sketch of Mario (from Super Mario Bros.) that Tim (our Graphic Designer Big JAM overseer... go figure) had drawn.  And, of course, I couldn't talk him out of it.  Surprisingly, my steady hand and attention to detail proved invaluable as I proceeded to draw a magnificent rendition of my man Mario.  As I continued to paint perfection on Lucas' face, he struggled to maintain his composure and was getting antsy.  He kept fidgeting, moving his head around, shifting each way so I was painting in awkward positions.  I kept trying to tell him to sit still and be patient, but it was tough.  "If he could only see what I can see," I thought to myself.  Finally, I dotted both eyes with a really stellar blue paint and declared victory.  He was thrilled when he looked at the pane of glass on the door and saw his favorite video game character immortalized (for the next 47 minutes) on his right cheek.  Mission accomplished.  My tagline:  "Just call me Pablo."

Parallelism.  Feel free to insert your name where I have put first person pronouns.

As I thought about what had transpired with Lucas Friday, I couldn't help but see the resemblance with what God is trying to do in my life.  God is trying to create a masterpiece out of my life.  He wants desperately to see the perfection of His Son lived out through me.  With each brushstroke, each circumstance, learning opportunity, and manifestation of His grace, He deeply wants to create excellence out of me.  The problem is me.  I fidget.  I turn my face to awkward positions.  I don't listen.  I smack the brush away.  I smear what's already been completed.  I'm so incredibly impatient.  I'm sure God is frustrated with me and my stubbornness.  But I'm also sure that He will never stop painting and creating a masterpiece even though I may get in the way.  Our God is the true Master Artist.



Father,
You are the true Master of the Painted Sky.  I know You are wanting so badly for me to be exactly who You created me to be.  I know that You are molding me and building me and I know that You are faithful to complete that which You began.  You will not leave me incomplete.  You are creating a masterpiece in me.  Father, help me to let go and let You perform this work.  I know Your vision for my life is far greater than I could imagine.  I struggle with believing it because I can't see the masterpiece you are painting on my face.  Help me in my unbelief.  Help me to be patient and wait expectantly for You to make me the man you always intended me to be.
Sincerely, Your son and blank canvas.

Monday, August 1, 2011

You light up the sky

Songs speak to me.  They always have and always will.  It's almost uncanny how I can memorize lyrics to songs with only a few plays but memorizing scripture is like grinding through scores of specification documents--no matter how many times I read through, I will eventually forget.  I find it amusing how most songs that I listen to are simply mimicking scripture; putting it to music sticks it in my brain.  Fun fact:  I have every word of every song of my 156-song playlist memorized, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

My hands-down absolute favorite song is "Light Up The Sky" by The Afters (why yes, that is the title of this blog!  I hope that's not copyright infringement).  Not only is the music straight up awesome, but the lyrics hold a special place in my heart and mind:

Light Up The Sky, The Afters

When I’m feeling all alone and so far to go
The signs are nowhere on this road guiding me home
When the night is closing in
It’s falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don’t feel them shiningWhen I can’t see beyond my doubt
The silver liningWhen I’ve almost reached the end
Like a flood You’re rushing inLove is rushing in

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

So I run straight to Your arms
You’re the bright and morning Sun
To show Your love, there’s nothing You won’t do

Light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

This song is more than words to me.  It's reality.  It's a promise.  It tells my story.  When I've felt alone and abandoned, He has always shed some light to show me the way.  When I've doubted His goodness and lost faith, He has always proven Himself.

I have been so blessed; our God has given me direct glimpses of His love--through friends, through situations, through pain, through disappointment, through not understanding why.  The purpose of this blog is to share and serve as a witness to those times when God sheds a bit more of His light in my life.  And hopefully, just maybe, you'll see a bit more of His light shining, too.



Father God,
You are Good.  You know I've struggled in disbelief.  You know I've painted ill pictures of You in my mind.  You know I've asked why a million times.  But the truth remains:  You are Good.  Even though I strain and twist in the wind, You have never failed me.  You always reveal to me what I need when I need it; You always light up the sky to prove Your love to me.  And so, I will wait--expectantly.  I will wait to see the light of Your purpose revealed.  You are Good.